Battle of Remoth Bondith (book version)

our story takes place in an accessible multiverse called Hayfaniverse, beside the constellation OxDotPeeEytch, one click away from PheelmusCrowdus, where gutter vomit can be found... in the gutter and everywhere.

in Hayfaniverse rests a swiftly moving psychedelically-colored planetary body... planet Remoth Bondith, named after a weird alien technology developed to straighten the surface of the planet, is characterized by a flat, unrolling, boring, uncrimped and dull terrain. it is on this land that a great battle between the Light and Dark Alliance and the Smurfers Army is being waged.

this epic saga unfolds with war. on a particularly smoother desert, the two armies face each other.

a flying unats-eagle overhead sees that the innumerable soldiers of the Smurfers Army is marching towards the Alliance's outpost. at the center of the moving army, is a strange silver ship, which seems... loading up energy. at the other end, the Alliance soldiers are getting ready to face their foe. their throng is well-organized, and grouped by batallions and companies. behind them is their artillery, manned by a silver-colored entity. and on the left is a helipad... oooopppss... that's not a helipad, it's another being.

the ice-blue stars and Remoth Bondith's three puke-purple and two acid green moons can be seen that night. on ground level, dust and smoke can be seen. and above, illuminating the battleground are floating earwax-yellow strobe lights.

Blllaaaammmm!!! zzzzzttt!! KaPPPooowwww!!!

laser shots and missiles are flying everywhere, blood and fuel cells are in the air, and the Alliance's heroes are putting up a good fight...

"ohhh yeah, this is fun. spear, transform to gattling gun!", shouts WavyMoks, as his spear transforms and starts rattling, killing most of the frontline weasleynaughts. the Great Spear of Poking, wavymoks' main weapon can transform into any shape that he can imagine. But during this transformation, it loses its unique ability to protect wavymoks from attacks, thus he also carries his near invulnerable Car Hood shield, to protect him during the interim. "darkzee, cover the left plank, shinycoy on the right, and qatarmus, we need more artillery attacks 40 degrees north by north east, mamamshieholics, need immediate help on delta company, and bomber, stay in front of that pretty hot chick general lewi.", he shouts commands to everyone, and lasciviously winks to LiwanaGrace.

"quit yapping wavymoks!! and don't call me lewi!! I'm still your lead commander here!" LiwanaGrace, the beautiful but deadly general of the the alliance army, smartly retorts, as she blasts a weasleynaught behind wavymoks, almost hitting his ear. "watch your back guys!! polengport.. teleport all the seriously injured jhustinites at the infirmary, and mamamshieholic, bring your friends here we need serious help on the injured!!", she commands.

just then, qatarmus prime, keeper and provider of artillery and ammunition affirms, "copy that wavy, 40 degrees north by north east", as clicking sounds "tsikukokokokokoko" can be heard. "I NEED MISSILES!!!"

bomber morran, shield and protector, meanwhile shouts "done" over the defeaning roar of the explosions as he moves to cover their general.

"heyy!! watch that crazy goggles of yours, you almost hit me!!" still touching his ear. "by the way can you do that again, that angry-concerned look, you look absolutely fabulous sugar", he says to liwanagrace.

just then, darkzee shouts "wavyyyy!!! i need some help here!! stop flirting with the boss!!" as she whacks her way thru the enemy.

"woniebro!! ishmolba!! get your asses in here, we need immediate med backup !!! polengport!! bring the seriously injured ones at the infirmary!!", mamamshieholic drunkenly slurs.

wavymoks focuses the gattling gun on the left plank and says, "this is too easy, is this the best these smurfers can give??"

meanwhile, darkzee's invisibility enables her to hack her way through enemy field, as her costume's power works only at night. as wavymoks continues to fire his way on the enemy flanks, along with the artillery support from qatarmus prime, with liwanagrace organizing the jhustinites, and with bomber morran protecting the weak flanks, with the help of medics and their teleporter, the alliance is winning the battle.

on the smurfers' side, General Kherniaxis seems to be just fine, unrattled with the onslaught of the alliance heroes. General Kherniaxis, smurfers priced recruit, is the mastermind of this assault against the alliance. feared by men, and unwanted by women, his uncanny approach to any battle makes him a near unbeatable leader. his henchman, The_bullette or the great spy and Baby_boomer, the psychic poison attacker provides him with superb knowledge on the battlefield.

"foolish heroes. send more Weasleynaughts at the battle field! we're going to wear them out first before we attack. and send The_Bullette on the right side, to meet that invisible thingy warrior", Kherniaxis devillishly mutters, and follows it with wicked laughter. "how old are you again baby?", he says as he grabs the butt of one female soldier near him.

"roger that sir, that invisible thingy is darkzee, i know what do to sir.", The_Bullette confidently says.

just then wavymoks saw 10 new flanks of weasleynaughts...

wavymoks shouts, "damn !!! when will they run out of these footies?!! Spear, change to Gattling gun, quadruple barrel mode!! "

in an instant, The_bullette appears on the left plank, behind the weasleynaughts, and beside him is baby_boomer, waiting for darkzee to attack. Then darkzee sees her previous lover, and goes berserk, killing, hacking anyone who comes near her as she moves forward to the_bullette. As the blood of her victims envelops her, she loses her invisibility advantage.

Liwanagrace, seeing what's happening shouts, "DARKZEE !!! STOP!! IT'S A TRAP!! FALL BACK!! FALL BACK!! Wavymoks!! help darkzee !!"

"shit !!! bomber morran, move towards the middle, i'll cover the left plank.. POLENGPORT !!!! get darkzee out of there !!! ASAP !! ", wavymoks immediately responds.

bomber morran whines, "but what about the general, she needs protection."

polengport then complains, "are you nuts??!! i'll be shredded into pieces if i teleport near her.

"spear!! transform to sniper canon!!, polengport, i'll hit her weapon and you teleport her as soon as I hit her, understood?!! BOMBER!! for fuck's sake!! protect the middle flank!! ", wavymoks shouts, as he moves swiftly.

darkzee continues to attack the weasleynaughts, as the_bullette and baby_boomer smile evilly, preparing for the kill.

"Damn you bullettee!!!!! i'll kill you!!! aaaarrrrhhhhh!!!", darkzee shouts, along with the piercing pain in her heart at the sight of her former lover.

kkkzzzzzzztttt kabbbloooommm!!! wavymoks hits the quadruple blade.

zzzrrrnnnggttt... pop !! polengport quickly teleports darkzee out of the battlefield and confines her inside the infirmary jail, an elongated room with unbreakable pink steel bars, designed specifically by the high priestess, knight pinkstar. inside these steelbars, any being loses his powers and their weapons' capability, with the exception of the teleporter. for there is no escape in this jail, unless you're teleported out.

"aaaahhh!! eeeeeeehhh!!! why did you stop me?!! get me out of here!!!!!", darkzee screams.

"stay here, you are unfit to fight again. you need to calm down.", knight pinkstar struggles to hold her down.

back at the battle field, wavymoks quickly raises his carhood shield, as he waits for his spear to transform back to the quadruple barrel gattling gun. he was suprised to see that the middle flank is almost depleted due to the attack.

"shit!! where the hell is bomber?!!! i fuckin told you to stay at the middle!!", wavymoks shouts, enraged.

bomber morran replies in a shrill voice, "i need to be here, beside the general liwanagrace, the smurfers focus their attack here."

wavymoks, furious at bomber, shouts, "are you blind??!! the middle flank's depleted. go back here with me, and help me protect the injured ones!! mamamshieholic!!! i need immediate med backup here at the middle flank!! now!!! "

liwanagrace, sensing a heated fight brewing between bomber and wavymoks, takes charge and commands, "go and protect the middle flank bomber, i don't need your protection here, i can take care of myself, the jhustinites need you!"

meanwhile qatarmus prime's voice is heard over the radio, "wavy!! do you need fire power on the middle flank??"

"thanks qatarmus, glad that you're here, do proceed to protect the left flank, darkzee just lost her cool after seeing that traitor!! " wavymoks replies as he continues to focus his gattling gun against the weasleynaughts.

qatarmus prime answers, "consider it done! battle mode transform!!" tsikukokokokokoko.
At the smurfers' side, general kherniaxis is smiling, his plan worked, one hero at a time. As he wears back his clothes and leaves the crying female soldier in one corner, he orders to launch their secret weapon.

kherniaxis commands, "Baby_boomer, launch your secret weapon... the_bullette, get back here, and i'll go out and ride my Vanessilium, it's time to remove that pesky wavy hero out of here."
"Mwaahahahahahah!! Finally, I get to kill some hero.", baby_boomer evilly laughs.
the_bullette then says, "roger sir, i'm on my way back, do you want me to send another ten flanks of weasleynaughts sir? "

"very smart... yes.. but not just ten, send thirty flanks, it is time.", as kherniaxis moves fast.
bbbbbrrrooooommmmmmm.... wwzzzzzssshhhhttt....

"what the hell is that sound??", wavymoks wondered.

"look at the right flank... see that light?", as liwanagrace becomes increasingly alarmed and wary.

qatarmus prime warns the troops, "prepare for anything guys... jhustinites on me..focus all your attack on the righ...no.. shit. left side!! thirty flanks here!! fire at will!!"

wavymoks prepares the Alliance fighters, and shouts commands at them, "shinycoy!! proceed to the left flank, i'll protect the right. are the smurfers enjoying a light show?? pretty-lewi, do move at the middle flank, and let the medics protect you, bomber follow me."

liwanagrace rolls her eyes, and says, "geezz wavymoks, your sweet talking can't win wars you know"

wavymoks winks at her and replies, "aahh... but sugar, my record's 4,063 and 0... it can, it certainly can."

bomber morran slowly walks to follow wavy moks, and liwanagrace quickly summons the medics at her side in the middle flank, they brace themselves against what the smurfers are brewing.

the_bullette screams thuderously, "footies!! focus your fire at wavymoks!! now!! "

meanwhile, from the dazzling array of light, emerges the Vanessilium... ready to shoot her main weapon, the chronoblaster™, capable of killing 1000 jhustinites in one shot. below the ship, bomber_morran carries the same weapon and is ready to shoot his mortal enemy
bomber_morran who is currently in front of liwanagrace.

"that's our weapon!! they made one!!", liwanagrace remarks incredulously.

then wavymoks jumps up and floats in the air. "say goodbye to your ship kherniaxis... spear, transform to photon canon 1000, it's poking time!!! bomber_morran, protect me while i wait for my spear to transform!! hurry!!! my car hood shield can't take all this fire power from the weasleynaughts."

qatarmus prime says in a sad voice, "i'm sorry general liwanagrace, but they have two."

wavymoks moves and bravely shouts, "bomber_morran!!! COVER ME !!! NOW!!!!!! "

Baby Boomer fires his chronoblaster the same time as the Vanessilium did, targeting bomber_morran. the vanessilium on the other hand fires at wavymoks, whose spear is still transforming.

bomber morran, thinking that general liwanagrace is the target, quickly covers liwanagrace with his body, and absorbs one hundred percent of the shot. "NOOOOO!!! "

The vanessilium fires at wavymoks. Everyone is blinded by the superb fire power of the two chronoblasters. the blast lasts for twenty seconds... and as the light fades, bomber_morran falls to the ground, with his back badly burned. Everyone is in shock, for wavymoks is nowhere to be found.

after a few moments of silence, qatarmus prime's tearful voice is heard on the radio. "wavy... come in wavy.. answer me!!", he furiously tries to shout at his communicator device.

liwanagrace, getting up weakly mutters, " bomber.... medics, help him. wavy... wavymoks... answer this message.. i order you!! " tears slowly trickle down her usually scary eyes.

kherniaxis, with red eyes and flaring nostrils laughs his horrible laugh, "Mwahahahahhahahaha!!! The end of wavymoks !! Mwahahahahah!!! Enough of this game, let's go back!! We've won!! leave the weasleynaughts".

baby_boomer whines, "but general, some heroes are still alive, let's kill them."

"fool!!! we can only use one shot at a time, we need to recharge the blasters let us go.. for today we celebrate... wavymoks' first defeat.... or probably..his last battle. Mwahahahahah!!! ", says kherniaxis, as he scratches his crotch, and saunters away.

then liwanagrace falls down on her kness, looks up to the sky and shouts despairingly, "WAVYMOKKKKSSSSSS !!!"